What a Year & What a Gift

It's almost been a year!  

Almost a year of neglecting this space. 

To be honest, it's been because I literally couldn't even process this year behind closed doors. Let alone put words to a fresh, clean screen to even make a sentence & share. 

Not in my head.

Not on paper. 

Sometimes, not even to Jesus. 

And I still can't bring myself to share details on what this year was like [on here, that is...] But I can sum it up in one word- grief. And it's taken me a while to get the nerve to even share that. 

But I think the ending of this year has given me the courage. 

And most importantly, it's given me reminders of the joy I've had all along, & the joy that's to come! 

So, even though this year can be summed up into [grief], it's a grief with hope...hope in our Savior. 

Hope that He can restore all things.

Hope that He is sovereignly in control.

Hope that He is already victorious & will return.   

And the sheer reality that this year can also be described as joyful. 

This little baby is already such a gift. 

And oh how fitting that Jesus would give us such a joyous one after such a year of suffering. 

He. Is. Good. Always. 

So there's a little backstory into our year's end. And here's a peek into the new journey so far...

We found out our little bundle was a reality on Friday, October 16. I'll never forget that moment! It was nothing dramatic or movie-scene-like, but I somehow knew weeks leading up to doing the test. And I was still speechless & in tears.

Just in shock & in awe of Jesus. 

I remember running around the house [just me & Dooley, I might add], cupping my tummy & saying, "You're in there, Little One. You're in there. You're really in there!" 

And telling Kyle was SO surreal. We couldn't stop smiling! Gosh, it still seems like a dream sometimes. 

We did tell our families & then the world sooner than most, but I was showing so much, & we felt in our hearts that no matter what happens, our Little One is a life to be celebrated. 

Y'all, symptoms showed up so soon! 

I've been sick since week 4. Showing since week 6. Had to buy maternity pants at week 7. I've burped a ton. Only craved mandarin oranges & veggie subs so far. Can't even look at broccoli! Sickness started easing up a bit at last Friday at week 12 [thankfully...& I'm praying that trend continues!]. And each new day brings new things- each a sweet reminder of the new journey we're on & the gift we've been given. 

We're so thankful...so thankful to be on this journey with so many. And we can't wait to share it with you.