Sensitive Hearts- It's Time...

I'm veering away from my "Beautiful Things" posts for something that's been heavy on my heart this week. I hope & pray Christ speaks through these words, because my mind & soul are flooded with emotions and sins on this very topic... 

Here's my big question:  Are we, as Christians, being sensitive to our sister's and brother's hearts?

And by hearts- I mean struggles, strengths, character, [God's masterpieces...]

Something to ponder...

When I was growing up, the main thing I remember hearing at every church camp was- "are you ladies being modest enough to keep your bothers from "stumbling." If I was paid a dime every time I heard that said, I seriously would've been rich by my freshman year of high school! I completely understand the reasoning behind it. I promise I do (& did then, too), BUT I wish that comment would've been directed more towards their hearts instead of just their eyes...I also wish they would've addressed our sister's hearts...because we affect everyone around us...male or female! 
  
So, I think it's time we addressed it. We need to be sensitive to our sister's and brother's hearts. Yep. 

After realizing how much I've struggled  with my "comparison sin" and just now learning how to deal with it, I see my sister's and brother's hearts in a completely different way... I see them as a masterpiece to protect, heal, and encourage with the gospel. What do I mean? I mean with all the many things that our sinful hearts struggle with, there are others around us struggling too...and we might be causing them to be hurt, discouraged, or even to sin...without even knowing it! We need to encourage with the gospel! That will protect, heal, and truly encourage people around us. But how can we do this if we're not honest? 

Think with me a minute- If we truly live out the gospel daily, with serving others and doing life with our community, we should know each other's struggles. And if we know each other's struggles, shouldn't we make it a point to encourage and build them up, even in unassuming moments? Yes! If we ignore their struggles and don't nurture them lovingly with grace, truth, and selflessness (the gospel), than we could potentially hurt them and feed their struggles! So where do we begin? We begin with Christ. We begin by being honest with others about ourselves- after all, hiding our imperfections will only destroy us & others. 

To my sisters,

I want to elaborate on addressing our sister's hearts. As women, we have unique emotions and can feel a lot...all at once...at any given time. Growing up, this was no fun. Gosh, even now it's not always fun. Social events were sometimes torturous.  In my experience, everyone else seemed unaffected...but were they? The answer doesn't really matter, but the fact that I could only think about my heart in those moments...that matters. Why? Because our sister's hearts matter too...

I can't help but think back to all my church camp experiences. I seriously loved camp, but that "camp quote" always left me feeling guitly and frustrated. I could on forever about it, but mainly, I keep coming back to the need of shepherding girl's hearts. I firmly believe our girls need to know how powerful their words and actions are to other girls. Camp sometimes felt like a week of competion- who could get the most attention, who could rededicate their life the most, and who could get the most phone numbers by then end of the week. Honestly, real life can be this way too. Woah- big tangent! The main thing I'm getting to- I wish we could grasp within our souls- our sisters shouldn't be seen as competition, but as masterpieces to encourage.  I've mentioned how much I have struggled (and still struggle) with my comparison sin in previous posts, especially because of social media! It takes daily reminders to redirect my heart & mind from seeking approval and comparing myself to people who appear perfect & appear to have a perfect life. The thing is- social media isn't the cause...It started when I was so young. It started even though I was taught that Christ only mattered. In those moments- like being told in the 5th grade that boys didn't like me because I didn't have Adidas shoes- it's so easy to cave into our human emotions...It's easy to be affected by others... I realize life isn't perfect, I realize hurtful things will always be done and said, but our hearts should ache for hearts that care about others...our girls need direction! Our girls need shepherding. 

[Here's a little incite]- adulthood brings the same challenges- in different forms, of course! Each day can be a challenge, but we shouldn't desire for others to fail,  we should remind ourselves that there is no such thing as perfection in this life. If we believe that, we should be cautious about our intentions, actions, what we post, share, and encourage. What we do goes beyond ourselves... 

I think it's safe to say we all experience this hurt & sin at some point in our lives- and it's nothing but the pits, but we shouldn't justify our sins because of needing to "build ourselves up"! What I've come to realize- feeling beautiful isn't wrong...wanting to post fun pictures of life isn't wrong...but needing that approval, that is wrong. And guess what- me seeking that approval, that can trickle down and affect my sisters around me! How, you ask? I am ultimately telling them that their identity is in what they have, how they appear, and what they wear. You may disagree, and that's okay! But if you agree with anything, agree with this- our sister's hearts need encouraging. They need to feel beautiful and equipped, not because of their appearance, possessions, and relationships, but ultimately because their identity and image is in Christ. Are we encouraging our sisters in their beauty in Christ? Are we showing our sisters that we are fulfilled with Christ, not other's approval? 

If not...we'll continue to seek fulfillment and approval forever...and possibly cause others to do the same.

Free Printable From French Press Mornings >>>

This is true: 

Fulfillment can only come from Christ...

Our physical struggles are only a drop in the bucket of what our heart & soul battle. It's sometimes the easiest to see, but it doesn't mean we should ignore the unseen. You may struggle with something completely different. Regardless, these struggles don't discriminate. They are present in us all! 

The bottom line- everyone struggles with something. If we are aware of those struggles in our sister's and brother's lives, we need to build them up with encouragement and love....we need to pour the truth of the gospel in their bucket! 

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ... 

Romans 5:1-11

Friends, be encouraged in your struggles...don't destroy yourself and hide them...be real...be honest...encourage others... 

Jesus redeemed them! 

And you are still a masterpiece that God created and loves...

Beautiful Things- Selfless Love

Today, I am in awe of the love that I wake up to every day. It's a love that has rocked my world and overwhelmed my soul. It's a love that overflows in every fiber of my being. It's selfless, forgiving, and beautiful...but it's not my husband's love I'm referring to... 

It's the love that came from the cross of Jesus Christ.

This same love that broke and changed our world...This love is utterly breaking and changing me.  Every ounce of it is filling me up with its goodness, while revealing the ugliness of my own selfish love- and it couldn't be more beautiful....

I began reading What did you Expect, by Paul David Tripp, around the end of October (yes, I take FOREVER to read through a book...I have around 3 going at one time!) and it has transformed my life- not because of reading 25 hip, new ideas, that I could do to make my marriage "better," but, because Tripp explained the truth of the gospel, and the TRUTH of the gospel transformed my life and is redeeming my relationships! 

Everything he said took me directly back to the raw love that the gospel gives. The gospel sets the stage and defines what real love is. Tripp says, "You get your best definition of love from an event, the most important event in human history. You get your best definition of love from the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ's sacrifice of love is the ultimate definition of what love is and what does." 

I'm learning to choose this "crusiform" love every day. I'm learning to choose to love my hubby (& everyone really!) with a selfless love that does not seek self-righteousness or reciprocation. I'm learning to love with Christ's love! Tripp describes this love in chapter 12 like this: 

"Love serves and gives. Love is not complaining or demanding. Love is being willing to sacrifice what you want in order to give your spouse what he or she needs. Love is never deceitful or manipulative in the pursuit of self-interest, because true love is other-centered and other-motivated." 

That isn't an easy love, but it's a true love. 

Because of this love, I am free to selflessly love my husband (and my little pup!)! He is free to selflessly love me- all because Christ's love has already redeemed us! His love insures that we will be taken care of- even when we fail each other! I'm grateful beyond words that my hubby understood this before me- I am loved by him. And I can't express the joy of getting to grow old with that hunk ;) 
  

I'm beyond thankful that my eyes and heart have been opened to true love. I'm still learning...and I will never love perfectly, but I want to truly love and choose thousands of little moments every day to serve selflessly! 

My heart aches for every marriage and relationship in this world. I yearn for them to be transformed and redeemed by this love! God WANTS to show us this love...he wants to heal and restore these relationships, but it begins with you. I beg you (single, in-a-relationship, engaged, married, married for 20+ years)- please, please, PLEASE order this book...give it to a friend...open your heart to the gospel...allow your life and relationships to be changed. 

Love with the love of the cross.  This is a beautiful thing...

[And take a listen to Sojourn Chattanooga's new sermon series on relationships! Such perfect timing. I love being a part of a community that cares about dealing with the hard messy stuff that life brings- all while being gospel-centered!]  

Beautiful Things- A Sleepless Night & Minivan Ride

I should totally be passed out in the floor of the minivan I'm riding in, but instead I'm finding myself laughing, talking, and munching on gas station snacks!

Let me back up- last night was probably the worst night of sleep (more like no sleep) that I've ever had! I literally fell asleep as the sun was coming up! So needless to say, I'm tired and somewhat grumpy. BUT I'm choosing, right now (especially after an entire night of not being thankful, in the least!), to see the beauty around me- my beautiful friends, our beautiful conversations, and their beautiful hearts for Christ- instead of my selfish sleepiness ;) 

               I truly love these ladies! 

Happy Friday y'all! 

  

Beautiful Things

I'm the first to admit- I don't always see the beautiful things around me. I especially don't always see beauty in the mundane, every day, normal things in life. Here lately, I've realized just how much I'm passing up and not paying attention to. I've realized how much I desperately need to slooooow down, open my eyes and heart, and see the beauty of everything around me.

Slowing down may seem obvious and simple, but for some (and by some, I mean me too!), it's not. Our lives are jam-packed with relationships, families, chores, careers, church, church family, volunteering, hopefully recreation, and IF there's time- having a little time to yourself. But balancing those areas can easily end up being a chore in itself. And I confess- I get overwhelmed and in that state-of-mind too! BUT I'm honestly just making those things more important than Christ. Ouch. That reality is down right ugly, but it's so true! And even though that overwhelming feeling is real- we don't have to let it linger! We also don't have to let those areas feel like a chore. I think we can live out our lives, feeling the freedom that Christ brings- even in the mundane! This takes slowing down. 

Slowing down can look different in so many ways! It can mean taking an evening to do nothing, exercising, going on a date with the hubby, taking a break from social media, hanging out with friends without an agenda, taking 5 minutes to breathe and shut your eyes at work, calling a family member, meditating and praying, and the list could go on forever! Obviously slowing down can look different for each person! And even though "finding rhythms of rest," (as our pastor says!) is important, it seems to go deeper than physical rest- because of that, suggestions and self-help books, honestly, will ultimately end up in the back of our minds or on a shelf collecting dust. It's easy to try things for a while and then be back in the same old habit again (hey, that's part of being human, right?)...what's not easy, but profound and life-changing- is living your life every day, running to our savior and allowing him to make something of our mundanes. This takes BEing Christ in all those areas of life- this takes opening our eyes and hearts! Unfortunately, our human eyes and heart. 

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, 

but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 

For God, who said, "Let your light shine out of darkness," 

has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 

2 Corinthians 4:5-6

Something that comes with being human- we can tend to see and feel things incorrectly. We can tend to see each area of our life separated from the other, which can separate our hearts! I'm going out on a limb and saying we aren't always truly seeing life correctly. We should see areas in life as intertwined and surrendered under Christ's grace and mercy. Doing so, we most often realize we can't "do life" on our own. And thankfully even when we think we can- he's still there to clean up our mess! Where am I going with this? I know it may seem like a tangent, but I promise it's going somewhere ;) Realizing we don't always see things correctly, helps us realize our need for community. REAL community. The kind that lives life with you, knows your ugliness and failures, and comes together with the common bond of waking up daily to serve Him- failures and ALL! Whatever stage of life you're in- you still need community. You still need support and direction after your eyes and heart are opened. But what about opening our eyes and heart up in the first place? That's not always easy either...

Ultimately, opening our eyes and heart isn't always easy, because let's face it- not everything in our society is beautiful- not everything in our world is beautiful! Everyday children wake up hungry, without clothes, or without parents. Every day adults wake up with addictions, no jobs, and no self-worth, but that doesn't mean there isn't beauty there. That doesn't mean God isn't working. When we see things through our perspective, most of the time we see the ugly and the negative. But by replacing our sight with his- we can see beauty in pain...beauty in heart-ache. We can see beauty instead of ashes.

Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor,

he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, 

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the LORD'S favor, 

and on the day of vengeance of our God;

to comfort all who mourn;

to grant those who mourn in Zion- 

to give them a beautiful headdress 

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning, 

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the LORD that he may be glorified.

They shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations. 

Isaiah 61:1-4

This is so hard. I don't have all the answers...I don't know why some things happen...I don't always pay attention...and I struggle with this daily. But I want to. Why? Because this is true discipleship. Feeling raw and real emotions is a gift- it's not a curse. And we can't ignore it. True discipleship is why we slow down and open our eyes and hearts to his word and direction- so we can feed the hungry, provide shelter, provide clothing, heal emotional wounds, and parent the parent-less- it's a life that doesn't stop with emotions and it's a life worth living. 

So, why put forth effort in this? Because slowing down and opening our eyes and hearts will show people Jesus, which provides life, takes away guilt and shame, and ultimately will provide rest.  And  thankfully the burden isn't on us friends! Christ took that burden and poured it out on the cross. We NEVER have to carry it. We just have to attempt to obey him with the best of our abilities.

The big thing to take from this-You can overcome being overwhelmed. Even in times of exhaustion and irritation (because that does happen)- we can be reminded by our ever-so patient savior, that every creation is his- molded and shaped with special purpose and love, and it's not by me that love is given, but by him!  So let go of it all- give it to him, don't be scared to see and feel, love everywhere you go, accept and build community, truly live life with others, and find rest in him! I encourage you to take a minute wherever you go- allow him use you. Love on people, extend generosity, BE JESUS...Find beauty instead of ashes. 

Side-note (I really like those for some reason!): I want to be intentional about this in my own life, so I'm going to start a continual blog of some sort called, Beautiful Things. I'm going to post once a week (or whenever really) about the ways Christ reveals his beauty to me. I hope this might help and challenge you to also find beauty. After all, we are in this journey together!

Where Ever You Go- Go With an Open Heart.

This past week we went on a mini-vacation/reunion to Virginia Beach, VA, to visit with Kyle’s law school friends! We were super excited to get back to the area and be with our friends again- after all, it had been 2 years for some! Plus, we’re kind of obsessed with the East Coast ;) Seriously, what's not to love? 

Oh to be there, right now! 

When you haven’t seen people in so long, there can be sort of an anxiety that builds up. 1. You don’t hang out with them regularly. 2. People change. And 3. You change. I’m not sure about my hubby, but I felt a little of this, definitely because I don’t know them like he does. He spent 3 years with them! But I was more excited than anything and was able to place those anxieties way back in mind (I really am trying to face my anxiety issues!).

After a few hours of being there, my anxieties were a distant thought. I felt at peace and felt a confidence that I know didn't come from myself. Being on the beach definitely helped. ;) I also kept coming back to the reality that I was thinking about myself- that I was making situations about me. I was being selfish in my own sinful way (definitely that comparison sin)! After redirecting my thoughts and heart, I was able to focus on others. I was able to leave behind my anxieties and be myself.

Redirecting can be hard, but it works. It’s as simple as taking your mind off yourself and placing your thoughts and heart on scripture and most importantly Christ and his example. Amazingly, I was then able to focus on others. I had so many meaningful conversations that grew friendships, hopefully encouraged others, and even encouraged me! One of the biggest blessings of it all- I felt community and love where it wasn't expected. I hope that doesn't sound harsh- I’m definitely not meaning it to. I’m meaning that I didn't have an agenda. I didn't go into conversations making sure I grew closer to people or making sure I spoke about Christ. Most of the time it naturally happened. Sometimes faith was not the topic at all- and that’s totally okay! I think that’s key. We can be intentional, sure! But honestly, when it comes down to true friendship and Christ-likeness, we need to be open to friendships of all kinds. We need to be open to discussing hard things or sometimes not discussing things at all.  We need to be okay with being vulnerable and sharing true struggles. We need to have fun! It takes effort. It takes diligence. It takes knowing that you’re going to fail- knowing you’re not perfect. It takes knowing that you might not be accepted (Remember-Christ wasn't always accepted!). Most importantly, it takes being in tune with the Holy Spirit and what that person may need most at that moment! It could even be as simple as being there to listen. 

Those things aren't always easy for me. Some of life's struggles are hard to tell others, sometimes I'm selfish, but ultimately it’s a true testament of God’s grace and glory. It’s a testament of redemption! Because of that- I am not ashamed. I do not harbor feelings of guilt! All that saying- we can be real. We don’t have to put on facades and bring out our “Christian lingo” every 5 minutes (honestly, that’s just a bad idea altogether!). We just need to be us. We just need to be who God created us to be- ourselves (unique with character and personality) and his hands and feet!

Isaiah 52:7:

How beautiful upon the mountain are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”

I am so grateful for our friendships in Virginia, Beach! I am incredibly thankful for what they taught and reminded me this past week! I didn't have any reason to be anxious! They are so accepting. And Ultimately, I am thankful for who they are- they are real, raw, and beautiful people…full of life. It was contagious! :) AND a huge thanks to Lisa Marie and Seth, who so graciously offered their guest room to us (after moving in that previous week!) and provided a ridiculously good paleo meal on Friday night! You both are loved and appreciated!

Some of the crew! :) 

To sum it up, the long weekend was a success. July 4^th was amazing on the beach and everything was memorable! It was even wonderful for Kyle and me! I can definitely tell it was good for us to get away and be with each other! The (ever so long- 11 hours, there and back!) travel times were some of my most favorite times of the trip- especially when I was wearing my polka dotted pants ;). We always have great conversation and it was completely true for this trip too! I am so grateful for him and our partnership. He’s my favorite. :)

Seriously, you can't get better than fireworks on the beach! 

Um, look at that cutie next to me! ;) We were pulling out of the gas station- so seat belts were put on before the main road started ;) No worries! 

Y'all, I'm in love with these pants. 

AND we were reunited with our fur baby after being away from him for a week! I missed him WAY more than I care to admit ;) 

Look. at. him. Gah! He's so sweet! 

On a side note- If you’re ever in Virginia Beach, you need to check out Doc Taylor’s. It’s one of our favorite eateries in that area and it’s totally worth every penny and every minute you might have to wait! And honestly, if there’s ever a big wait somewhere- you know it’s worth eating there! ;) 

Where ever you go- go with an open heart. A heart fixed on him. 
Peace- 
Megan