Giving Back

Today's featured post is all about giving back. {And if you've noticed, there's an Africa theme going on! Which was unintentional, but I'm going to keep it going through October!}

Rob is a dear friend of ours. And his story is one that absolutely inspires & convicts me to my core. He gets it.

After quitting his job, and going to Africa for 10 weeks- working, playing, and loving on the poorest of poor, he's decided to give back. He's decided that he can make a difference. And we can make a difference too.

Rob has started a 2 month fundraiser (43 days are left!) that anyone can become a part of. He's prompting us to make daily lifestyle changes that really make us think- it's made me think about all the unnecessary things that I buy. So instead of just giving extra (which of course, you can still do!), these lifestyle changes can, in turn, help provide education to children who need it (& know they need it), without causing our budgets to go over. To sum it up- it's a beautiful way to give. And it's not just a lifestyle change it's a heart-change.

Photos were approved and used from https://www.facebook.com/robert.rose.104?

Life is so much bigger than us. And we can daily live it that way. 

If you're able to, click here to help with the fundraiser! And whether you can give or not, please take time to share this! Either one can help Rob reach his goal!

I'm Not a Momma

We're waiting.

This may be the "new normal". I'm not sure. But children aren't in the picture yet. And hey, what is normal, anyway?

The hubby and I are in the right season for us- parenting our unbelievably cute mini dachshund (we're not biased, at all!), who is seriously like a toddler, and building a firm foundation for our marriage.

I do desire a little bundle of joy- the unconditional love & wisdom that motherhood brings. That intensity & desire grows deeper each day. 

And even though it's not our time, I sometimes have moments of impatience. I become restless for the next season- the next chapter to come. And it's not always for the right reasons. 

I see children look to their parents, with a love that no one else in the world has for them. I remember the love that I have for my Mom and Dad. And I see parents that have immense wisdom- an influence on society that I can't give. What. A. Gift. 

And those are my "wrong" reasons.

I know it's impatience. And some selfishness! 

And for once, I can admit that. In the past, not so much- for example, my hubby knew we weren't ready for marriage, straight out of school. I'm admitting it, right here, right now- this is a big deal, people! He was right. 

I was impatient for marriage. I wanted what most of my Bible college friends had. I wanted to be a wife to Kyle. It wasn't a bad desire, but my desire took over my soul. And I couldn't see the bigger picture. I couldn't see that Kyle still loved me, even though we weren't married yet. I couldn't see that I missed out on building relationships & learning from married women in the Johnson community & in life all around me. I was blinded by jealousy & pride. 

I don't want to repeat those sins.

Through reflecting on all my ugliness & all the beautiful things the hubby and I get to look forward to- I am ever so sweetly steered to Truth.

“Where's your focus, Megan?”

“Does the Gospel depend on your wisdom?”

“Does the Gospel depend on you being a mom?”

{No, no, & no.}

Talk about going to my knees and seeking forgiveness!

In that forgiveness, I was reminded of this:

It's okay to be where we are. 

It's okay to seek love & wisdom- to think about the next season.

But I shouldn't forget the present.

I have love & wisdom to offer. It’s not the same that mommy-hood brings, but it’s there. And most importantly it’s Christ-given- it’s been written on my heart, & ingrained in my bones.

It's the Gospel. 

And even though my days aren’t yet filled with precious giggles, sweet baby toes & fingers, hugs & kisses, dirty diapers, throw-up, and sometimes screaming, no-nap kiddos, I can love & learn. 

I can love, learn, & live in the present- where, by grace, I am at right now:

To love on my hubby & Dooley.

To love on our nephews, niece, & children around us. 

To rest in the wisdom that God has given me.

To know that it's okay to desire.

To know that God knows my desires. 

To be teachable. 

To ultimately, just love others & live out my story.

I look forward to the wisdom I’ll receive in the future- whether through birthing, adopting, or both.

I'm not a momma, yet.

But for now, I pray and seek to be humble…to keep learning from the mommies around me (even the ones with miles between us- my incredibly strong & wise grandmothers, mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, Aunts, & Cousins!)…to pray for my husband- his future role as father and for the fathers that will speak into him.

And that we can all speak into each other’s lives- children, no children, married, or single- whatever season we're in.

We can all learn from each other.  

So wherever you are in life- know this:
You have your own story & seasons, written with His wisdom & given to you, to live-out and share.

You are not discredited!

You have purpose, where. you. are. 

Restoration & Worship

I'm still processing some intense realizations from Sojourn's service yesterday. I'm still reflecting. I'm still being renewed.  

I keep thinking about patterns in my daily life- when I mess up, when I seek forgiveness, and when I worship. 

I've found, more often than not, I seek to make myself feel better about what I've done. 

It's consuming- apologizing relentlessly and doing anything to show the person(s) that there's remorse and the desire to make things right. 

Or sometimes, I just suppress wrongdoings. 

It's easy to justify. It's easy to ignore things that can be internalized. 

Ultimately, it's easy to neglect the not so fun part- the possibly hard & ugly stuff, and skip straight to the fun- the celebration, the worship. 

The reality- restoration and worship isn't something we just receive and do- It's something we live out.

This restoration...this worship- it's life. And it's much deeper than just asking for forgiveness and praising what God has done for us. It's seeking renewal, changing our hearts, and celebrating our acceptance.

Psalm 51 is a Psalm that David wrote with great intensity, remorse for his sins of adultery and murder, and then celebrated the abundance of grace, mercy, & deliverance that God gives. It's a Psalm that, in the past, I would just read a few verses out of- a Psalm that reading the entirety of it, just rocked my worship world (funny how that works).

So often I just go through the motions and celebrate who God is, without allowing who He is, and what He did to change me. I tend to skip to celebration without recognizing my sinfulness, embracing his mercies, & remembering the crazy, amazing truth that He canceled my debt. 

We need renewal...

Not in order to worship, but because that's why we worship. 

Because it's a renewal that doesn't come from our own ideas of atonement, but His atonement- His deliverance!

It's so easy to try- to create our own system of canceling our debts, but the reality is, those things will never cover our transgressions- they will never renew our hearts. They will only keep us in a cycle of emotional highs and major let downs.

But relinquishing our control will reveal true restoration & worship. It will reveal a love that won't abandon us. A love that contains grace & mercy that, in the words of our pastor, is weightier than the weight of our sins!

So we can live life "in our acceptance, instead of for our acceptance." - Rusty Mckie

{That is something to celebrate!}

So, with all of our abilities, and God-given desires, we can seek renewal & celebrate the changes that he does in us.

It's a restoration to delight in. A restoration to worship. 

Psalm 51: 6-15

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, 

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. 

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

wash me and I shall be whiter than snow, 

let the bones you have broken rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins, 

and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, 

and renew a right spirit from me. 

Cast me not away from your presence, 

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will return to you. 

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,

O God of my salvation,

and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. 

You can read all of Psalm 51 here! 

Mocha Club

This is my first "featured" post!

Where you'll find people and organizations that inspire, give, and love!

People and organizations that, even though they're not perfect, strive for justice.
People and organizations that can inspire and help us do the same.

I thought it made sense for the first feature to be an organization that's been a part of my life for almost 6 years. 

An organization that makes much of their gifts and resources.
An organization that I seriously just love & don't talk about enough. 

Mocha Club first came to my attention at a Dave Barnes concert, my freshman year of college.

There was a table set up at the entrance of the concert, advertising a free CD with a commitment to give monthly. The sweet girl behind the table said, "only give up a few mochas a month." To be honest, the idea of giving up any coffee didn't sound appealing, especially for a college student, but giving just $7 monthly for safe drinking water in Africa and getting a new CD really sounded like a deal.

Little did I know, I was committing to something so much bigger than giving up a few cups of coffee.

It's something that changes people's lives- something that changed mine.
It's something that my husband and I still give to 6 years later.

And not only do they provide clean drinking water, they provide education, economic freedom, health care, and orphan care!

They also have some pretty awesome music sponsors & scarves to purchase, too!

  This is one of the first scarves they sold- made by a woman in Africa, that provided income to support her family. 

So, if you're looking to expand your giving, or even just people to commit to pray for, click on the link, and take a look at Mocha Club!

I know your heart will be refreshed.

It's Here!

Welcome to the new blog! I am beyond excited for the new additions. 

Honestly, the word excited just doesn't even come close to the joy I'm feeling! 

And I might need someone to pinch me. 

My dreams and desires are slowly coming true- to inspire, share people's stories, and spread the Truth, love, & beauty that exists all around us. 

The love that can exist in us. 

Because we all have a story.

And we all can find ways to inspire and love others, because of our stories. 

Because of His love & His story. 

I am truly overjoyed to share this journey with you- and I hope you'll join me.

{Just a side note- my links will have the specific posts under them soon! I haven't had the chance to label them yet!}

And if you're curious, my cute blog was designed by Megan from Cutest Blog on the Block! I adore it. 

Changes

I love the little reminders we get from simple things in life.

This tree is radiating truth- the promise of new life, new beginnings, new seasons, protection, and beauty! 

I'm so excited about this new season. 

I'm taking a leap of faith and being open to the outcome- with months of prayer, dreaming, and discerning, there's going to be new additions to my blog! 

Be on the look out! 

A Letter to My Husband

Dear Husband,

Today, you have my words.

Choosing you, was the best decision I've ever made.

The hardest, but the best.

We've been married for 1 year and 7 months.
We've been engaged for 2 years and a month.
We've been dating for 7 years and 3 months. (3 years, we were far, far a part.)
We grew up in the same church- since I was born and you were 4.

We've grown a part, grown close, and changed in ways we couldn't have dreamed.
We've taken on this life together, and we're always changing.

Some people told us the first year of marriage would be the hardest...

I'm glad we took that as a challenge. 

We made that our prayer.

It was an adjustment, but I'd say, it's been our best year yet.

You put up with my craftiness- 5:00 a.m. wake up calls by my newest project (a section of a fence) crashing down on your head...

You put up with my forgetfulness- loosing the bottle of Ibuprofen, only to find it in the dinning room hutch (I guess I left it there while cleaning?)...

You put up with my job changes- I still can't find one that fits.

You put up with my sometimes childish behavior- I still sneak in a silent treatment here and there.

You put up with my complaining- I do have weird things that happen to me...

And you put up with my failures- all my sins and all the times I don't love you well.

Through it all- you've been patient and prayerful...you've been my provider and protector...you've been my leader and lover.

You've been Christ.

And through it all- it's not that you've "put up" with me, it's that you love me. 

No, you're not perfect- you have your moments too.

But this letter, this is to thank you, because I don't do it enough.

Each day, I get the gift of waking up and being your partner.

I get the joy of ironing your shirts, packing your lunches, pouring your to-go coffees, and giving you goodbye kisses.

You've never once asked. You've never once placed those expectations on me.

But, I gladly do them. I cherish them.

No, I'm not slaving away to the typical "house-wife" stuff- I'm using my gifts to give life!

And I wouldn't trade each one for anything.

I wouldn't trade any little, insignificant moment- because they're all significant. 

Yes, we've only been married for a little over a year, and we don't have kids yet, but we've learned what some people don't learn in a lifetime.

We've learned we're human- love is not a fairy tail.
We've learned we're selfish- we're learning to strive to live selflessly (daily!).
We've learned to be forgiving- we don't just apologize, but ask for forgiveness. We give grace! 
We've learned we're each created differently- we try to celebrate those differences.
We've learned it's not about us- it's about glorifying our savior.

To sum up it up-
We've learned to love when it's easy and love when it's hard.

We have a lot more mistakes to make.
We have a lot more to learn.
We have a lot more love to give.

And we get to do it all- together.

So even though this was the hardest, yet best decision ever- I'm undoubtedly grateful for it. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for us. I'm grateful you chose me. 

And not just today, not just tomorrow- you will always have my words and you will always have me. 

http://www.gretchenrobards.com/

Love Right Where You Are

So today, I woke up with my community burning on my heart.

I woke up feeling an intensity that I've never had before.

Seeing faces of mommies that have lost their precious babies. And seeing humble people and leaders that serve relentlessly to love them.

Seeing faces of sweet children in Africa that are hungry for knowledge, unconditional love, and full bellies. And seeing the compassionate couple that made their dream of a school meeting those needs come alive.

The neat thing- I don't have to travel to Texas or to Africa to impact and love on these people (although, I pray for that opportunity!).

I can do it right here.

I've bought a t-shirt supporting One Heart Africa and pray diligently for every facet of their organization.

Most recently, I committed to 8 weeks of praying for the leaders and mommies of Hope Mommies.

These are people in our church community! They are our "neighbors".

I'm not giving myself a "gold star" here. I'm sharing this to say, we can love right here, right now.

In ways that may seem small, but can do big things.

There's power in prayer. There's power in support. There's power in community.

Your way of support may look different than mine.

And it doesn't always have to stay the same- I pray mine won't stay stagnate, and will grow as my heart and these organizations grow.

That's the beauty of love.
That's the beauty of ministry.
That's the beauty of different seasons in life.

Even though we're involved with a semi-young church plant, it's mind-blowing to see how many gifts, talents, and passions that already exist.

And in that family, there are many ways that our community and world are impacted!

And not just in the typical ways labeled as "missions."

We not only love each other inside our church community, but we also love outside of it. Churched and Unchurched.

That's encouraging.

Encouraging in the sense that we all have been given certain gifts and passions. And we can creatively use those gifts to love on people around us and across the world.

Not matter what the outcome! Love is still present.

That's the Gospel.

As Christ-followers, we shouldn't have the pressure of being involved in everything. We shouldn't have guilt for not always supporting perfectly. We shouldn't have shame for not being personally present in it all.

Why?

Because Christ gives us freedom and grace.

He gives us freedom to love and grace when we fail- to minister in ways that we can most effectively show people His love.

We're all different.

Some like-minded- some not.

But, we're all His body.

Here to love, serve, and grow. 

Here to love right where you are. 

Recharge.

So this little vacay was much needed. We needed to just get away from things.

We needed conversation, laughter, no alarms, and meals shared with close friends.

We needed to just rest.

It's funny how sometimes, you don't realize how much you need something until you do it...

Or how much just stepping away, breathing, and not having to think provides a rejuvenation that you can't explain.

You get recharged.
You get sore stomachs and cheeks from laughing so hard.
You get full- not just from food.
You get warmth from the sun, and warmth in your heart.
You learn people's stories- you realize your own.
You get reminded of what you have.
You get joy.

So often, I forget that I can do that here. I forget that resting doesn't always have to be labeled, planned, and executed as a "vacation". (although, those times are definitely needed!)

You can be recharged by resting in him.

By stepping away and breathing.
By simple coffee dates.
By sharing meals.
By doing the everyday-mundane things.
By enjoying a good book.
By exploring your community.
By just being with your family.

All these things can be restful- by resting in him!

Look for him, today. He's there.

Rest in his truths. Recharge.