Restoration & Worship

I'm still processing some intense realizations from Sojourn's service yesterday. I'm still reflecting. I'm still being renewed.  

I keep thinking about patterns in my daily life- when I mess up, when I seek forgiveness, and when I worship. 

I've found, more often than not, I seek to make myself feel better about what I've done. 

It's consuming- apologizing relentlessly and doing anything to show the person(s) that there's remorse and the desire to make things right. 

Or sometimes, I just suppress wrongdoings. 

It's easy to justify. It's easy to ignore things that can be internalized. 

Ultimately, it's easy to neglect the not so fun part- the possibly hard & ugly stuff, and skip straight to the fun- the celebration, the worship. 

The reality- restoration and worship isn't something we just receive and do- It's something we live out.

This restoration...this worship- it's life. And it's much deeper than just asking for forgiveness and praising what God has done for us. It's seeking renewal, changing our hearts, and celebrating our acceptance.

Psalm 51 is a Psalm that David wrote with great intensity, remorse for his sins of adultery and murder, and then celebrated the abundance of grace, mercy, & deliverance that God gives. It's a Psalm that, in the past, I would just read a few verses out of- a Psalm that reading the entirety of it, just rocked my worship world (funny how that works).

So often I just go through the motions and celebrate who God is, without allowing who He is, and what He did to change me. I tend to skip to celebration without recognizing my sinfulness, embracing his mercies, & remembering the crazy, amazing truth that He canceled my debt. 

We need renewal...

Not in order to worship, but because that's why we worship. 

Because it's a renewal that doesn't come from our own ideas of atonement, but His atonement- His deliverance!

It's so easy to try- to create our own system of canceling our debts, but the reality is, those things will never cover our transgressions- they will never renew our hearts. They will only keep us in a cycle of emotional highs and major let downs.

But relinquishing our control will reveal true restoration & worship. It will reveal a love that won't abandon us. A love that contains grace & mercy that, in the words of our pastor, is weightier than the weight of our sins!

So we can live life "in our acceptance, instead of for our acceptance." - Rusty Mckie

{That is something to celebrate!}

So, with all of our abilities, and God-given desires, we can seek renewal & celebrate the changes that he does in us.

It's a restoration to delight in. A restoration to worship. 

Psalm 51: 6-15

Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, 

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. 

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

wash me and I shall be whiter than snow, 

let the bones you have broken rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins, 

and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, 

and renew a right spirit from me. 

Cast me not away from your presence, 

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will return to you. 

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,

O God of my salvation,

and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. 

You can read all of Psalm 51 here!