It all comes back to Him.

Sometimes our favorite, most cherished, life-giving things become weighty- the biggest obstacles in our path.

Last month, blogging did just that.

It made life heavy.

My good become my bad.
My joy became my frustration.
My peace became my chaos.

I couldn't do anything, but stop. I had to step away. Reevaluate my heart. And uncover what was underneath.

My heart was incredibly weighty with comparison & over-thinking. I couldn't stop comparing my words to others- "my creativity just wasn't enough, my pictures weren't top quality, my story wasn't as glorious, challenging, or as life-changing as others- it didn't measure up." [I didn't measure up.] 

And even though most of those thoughts were lies, they still had a sinful-source- I couldn't stop seeking personal gain. I couldn't stop seeking perfection. I couldn't stop. 

And I couldn't see it- I was in deep. 

But when I finally stepped away, the unclear, cleared- the fog lifted. And I did more than see, I dug deep, down into the dirt of my heart. 

The dirt that keeps seeing my words as [my words], when actually, they are His. 

And not only did I find my selfishness, I found His answer- His grace. Him. 

I don't say this to draw sympathy, attention, or feedback- I say this to be honest. I say this to confess. I say this to show I'm freed [in Christ] from my chained heart, soul, & mind that was trying too hard to make this about me. 

So, here's to a fresh perspective- here's to a refreshed heart. 

A heart that doesn't have to be perfect. 
A heart that He makes new. 
A heart that measures up, because of Him.

Because it all comes back to Him. 

Romans 11:33-36

Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It’s way over our heads. We’ll never figure it out. Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.

Galatians 2:17-21

English Standard Version (ESV)

17 But if, in our endeavor to be justified in Christ, we too were found to be sinners, is Christ then a servant of sin? Certainly not! 18 For if I rebuild what I tore down, I prove myself to be a transgressor.19 For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness[a] were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.